Paddling Perspective: Finding Me

Sometimes I kayak.

I kayak because there is freedom to think, to be, to become. There is both movement and stillness.

Perhaps it is the blue heron that sets a-flight only to perch again or the bald eagle which soars only to sit moments later, high nested and majestically regal. Perhaps it is movement forward after floating stillness that captures me so.

Today I kayaked and I heard echos of rough tones and got bombarded with memories which have entrenched negative self-talk within me. Around the bend in the lake from wind-swept waters and frustrated recounting of things gone by there was a cove of courage.

There, a stroke at a time, I saw a piece of me that doesn’t hold hands with trauma or disdain, a me who isn’t dismantled by circumstances or conversations.

I paddled into perspective that I am a warm light that glows best when living local and loving strong.

Calculations of “whys” within childhood, career, creativity, or calling fracture the light and bend it away from the forward. Maybe less corrective aims and more conviction-filled steps will be the betterment of me. Less trying to make everything around me seem right or be successful and more of do what I know and learn what I don’t. It’s not about yesterday anymore; it’s about today, likely even more about tomorrow.

The lake curved me back around to my starting spot. As I walked ashore, I knew that paddling today had surfaced the joy in living, the love of little ones, the longing for meeting hope and dancing once again. Today I paddled towards me and it was freeing.

Do what frees you today. In the strain or stress of present realities, whether you are just surviving or currently strength-knowing, lean for a moment into life. Dare even to chase a little hope with me. Find you. Be you. Bless on.

From Valentine Lake, in the state with 10,000 lakes,

-Nasreen

Be beautiful with me

How many times does one start anew? Is this the time?
Is this the chance?
Do we get to rise today in ways we haven’t before?
Might we become more honest and more hopeful?

Might we let the tears fall this year?
Could our smiles reach into our souls and bring about new life?

I have been called to beauty.
Has someone called you to the same?
Will we say yes?
Together.

This year, will you be beautiful with me?

Will you stay the big brave beautiful your bold self has already been?

Less of quitting and more of resilience.
Less of cowering and more of courage. 
Less of perfect and more of passionate.
Less of lies and more of truth.
Less of the fallen and more of the forgiven.
Less of hate and more of love.
Less of hell and more of heaven.

We didn’t get it all right in 2013, but we didn’t get it all wrong.  We never do.

Walk the road, past the easy words to the ones that barely can be spoken.
Walk the road, further than you have before.
Stay in the story longer,
and love a little stronger.  

I promised to, to people online, to those in person, and today to the person within.

And this
This is the start.
So is every breath.
So it is for you.

Join me, to 2014, for the hope we chase, the hope we breathe, the broken along the away, and the beauty we are called to.

Beauty.

Stay present for the pain,
stay steadfast in the sorrow,
stay real in the raw,
stay you in the yearning,
stay earnest in the eucharisteo,
stay grateful in the good,
stay honest in the hope.

Be beautiful with me this year.

for all that you enjoy and for that which you endure, know I am cheering for you.

nasreen

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