That’s what I typed today, to myself and to others.
Do I believe it? Do I buy into this stand again, rise again mantra? Do I believe mercies are new each morning?
I love my husband more now than when I married him. That’s good, right? We stood on promises when life buckled a bit.
I am a more complicated daughter now than when I was adopted. That’s intriguing, laced with possible pain, and worth exploring, right?
I have seen more of the world in the past five years than the previous thirty years. Why is that? Have I been more places or did I just slow down to be present and see people lately?
I have been devalued and dismissed in places and by people who I will turn and defend and celebrate none-the-less. Is this okay or does it make me open for blind-sides and hidden hurt?
I have flare ups of depression and trauma demons, yet as I walk others through and amid theirs, I find allies and staying power. This is why I write–to be the fragrance of restoration and persistence of person, faith, and future. Safety of spirit is not yet something we measure like the data we collect on homicides, war, and poverty. Yet there is much work still to be done for both the known and unidentified troubles of this earth if we are willing to stand to spread the good. Depression doesn’t own me; I get to contribute to the communities I am in.
Grief riddles gaps in our steady and we are compelled to pray for peace–peace of land, peace of people, peace of mind. I still pray, although my anchor feels buried further from my sail than I would like.
I have friends who show their stories and hear of mine. Isolation is distant somedays until I beckon it near and believe it is my closest companion. But those around me chase it far again and let love stay the day. This is a gift to me.
So standing–do I believe in it?
We get to.
So stand, even when we do not know the answers or the journey, even when it seems impossible–
…in your marriage, in your work place, in your journey, in your parenting, in your cities, in your beliefs, in your friendships, in your hard seasons, in your joy, in your you…
“If you fell down yesterday, stand up today.” –H.G. Wells
“For a lot of people, Superman is and has always been [a] hero. He stands for what we believe is the best within us: limitless strength tempered by compassion, that can bear adversity and emerge stronger on the other side. He stands for what we all feel we would like to be able to stand for, when standing is hardest.”
–J. Michael Straczynski, author